I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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