In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You can't just leave with hair like that
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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