well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
