Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
