and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
