R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
