Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
