Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You smell like stripper and shame
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
