My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
