i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
