How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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