dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
