May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize