I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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