don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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