did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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