Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Boobs speak an international language.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
