Can Purell be used as lube?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize
