i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
