In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
false alarm, still single
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