dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
