You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Randomize
