Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Sacagawea was the original milf.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
