hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
