Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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