I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
