so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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