never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
