just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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