There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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