apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
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Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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