Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
