That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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