I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
