she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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