Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
