He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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