Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
