plz talk dirty to me
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
