you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize