So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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