how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
