I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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