wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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