I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
