I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
