lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
