two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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