On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
