Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My liver just broke up with me...
i think i have two assholes
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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