I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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