do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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