Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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