Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize