We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
