Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
