Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We need to rekindle our bromance
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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