I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
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Did we literally take a cab across the street
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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