I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He better not be in your backpack
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
