u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
